She's an Amazonian!

In Greek Mythology the Amazons were a tribe of women warriors. The word is said to be derived from the Iranian word “hama*zam” meaning “All women”. The same happens to be true for Fatima Jinnah. We’re a tribe of warriors here, an isolated island where women are basically the ruling elite. One thing that has always been unique to this institution is the women empowerment you’ll see here. We’re allowed to be ourselves truly without misogynistic cultural barriers prevalent in our society. You’ll see future doctors walking down the department blocks spontaneously erupt into Bollywood numbers at the top of their not-so-melodious voices, dancing with abandon or simply laughing gaily.

Like all Amazonian tribes we open our doors to the outside world once annually for our famed Spring festivities i.e. the numerous intercollegiate events. Otherwise we tend to stay within the beloved red brick walls of Fatima Jinnah, shrouding ourselves in the mystery that has become the hallmark of FJMU. If you happen to attend the festivities don’t forget to savour our very own delicacy “MK fries” dipped in creamy garlic mayo and spicy red chilli sauce; one bite and you’ll forget all about your OPTP obsession!

If you see any girl walking by wearing atleast 4 layers of foundation with highlighted cheekbones more specifically dark smudges just medial to the temporal process of the zygomatic bone and a contoured nose than you can without a doubt assume she’s an Amazonian!

No-one’s truly an FJite if she doesn’t love her lipsticks more than her plate of Biryani. We take pride in our traditional attire “The Kurta’s”. Khaadi, Generation, Sapphire, Beech Tree and Limelight are the main suppliers.

“Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”

 It’s a question most FJites ask as soon as we drag our feet off bed each morning. Just as the Valkyries in Kersley Cole’s famous series “Immortals After Dark” are mesmerized by shiny objects; FJites are in love with Mirrors, which explains their abundance on campus. We all have slathered foundation in front of the Cafe mirrors atleast once in our student lives.

Our tribal pastime happens to be Selfie-taking, if selfie syndrome was a real thing I’m afraid half our population would get positively diagnosed of this chronic disease, with poor prognosis even with aggressive Paroxetine therapy!

Our media cell you’ll come to know is by far the absolute best in the medical world; if I were to tell anyone anything this second it will be transmitted with ultrasonic speed to every unsuspecting girl in any nook and corner of FJ whatsoever.

Breaking News: Guess what I just heard, Blah. Blah. Blah.

The writer of Gossip Girl Cecily Von Zeigesar should come take pointers from us!

Like all tribes there’s fierce in-fighting but if an outside force threatens the peace and harmony on our lands than God help the poor soul because we are a consolidated wall of stone against all intruders. What happens next is something I can only describe as a merger between “The Hunger Games” and “Mean Girls”.

May the Girls be ever in your favour!

It’s a general consensus among our population that smoking, drugs and drinking are not only major turn-offs but abhorrent crimes punishable by death (Exaggerating a lil’ bit here but you get the sentiment, right?). Most of us are a part of one Anti-Tobacco campaign or another, and like all God-Fearing “Vigilantes” (I meant warriors) we are relentlessly trying to rid the world of the stimulant and deleterious effects of Nicotine! Might I remind everyone: Smoking Causes Cancer (Bronchogenic Carcinoma anyone?). Its just one of the hundreds we’re forced to study in detail thanks to all the unsuspecting smokers in the outside world. Yup, you’re not doing anyone any favours!

Professionally speaking, there are few who might surpass FJites when it comes to academics. Our professors train us hard. The word biochem test is an inside “horror” story to any FJite around. Our clinical practice is flawless - it had to be Alhamdulillah with no guys to crowd wards during classes, even the shiest of girls gets the opportunity to perfect her clinical skills. The result of this grinding medical training: Beautiful and relentless doctors who do not need any description other than the term "FJite". As a panellist for Post Graduation interviews once said "FJ ka naam hi kafi hai.”

Owing to this fact people from all over the world send their daughters as delegates to our lands so we may train them in the science of Medicine. The beauty of our nation is the cultural diversity you’ll find here: Mauritius, Nepal, Afghanistan, England, America, Iran, Canada, India and Sri-Lanka! These girls are a breath of fresh air and bring a new range of ideas on-campus. The delicious “Kottu” made by our Sri-Lankan friends is a must for any Foodie around!

Dear reader, you’ll fall in love with Fatima Jinnah. It’s the kind of love that creeps up on you slowly and before you know it, you’ve fallen hard and you’ve fallen fast. I guess that’s just the magic of this place.

- Manayal Ejaz (Class of 2018)