"Memories" by Mahnoor Shahid

*This is an entry for the May Blog Of The Month competition.

Crimson bloomed out from under her skin when she scratched herself on the sharp apple tree branches as she tumbled down in a mass of entangled limbs. The succulent fruit was still clutched in her hand when her parents frantically ran towards her. The elation of a mischief executed right drowned the sharp pangs of red hot pain,though. Her mother chastised her before cutting up the fruit and presenting it it on the lady bird patterned plastic plate. They made her promise not to put herself in harm's way ever again, and that she would we able to fly eventually but was still growing into her wings and that when the time was right, she would launch upwards in a rush of vermilion and scarlet but she still has to wait some.

It was a dull, overcast day the day her father dropped her along with her mother at her nano's place. When he hugged her goodbye, she wrapped her little fist around his finger asking when he would pick them up. He ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair before turning around and driving away. She thought she saw the wetness in his grey eyes but then again mama's eyes were wet most of these days as well.

Her nano gifted her a stuffed baby elephant plushie. She played with it every day as she waited for her father outside on the porch.The faded paint on its walls was peeling off in abstract patterns.

He didn't come back.

She threw the plushie away on the thirtieth day because suddenly she didn't like grey anymore. It reminded her of broken trust and desolation.

She was 10 when she found out that grownups can't do everything and teachers didn't have all the answers.It was a necessary tragedy she had to endure in order to step into the real world but the realization of childhood heroes not being infallible crashed through her like dark tidal wave. Older transgressions faded in comparison; even the betrayal of her best friend of second grade who used to tell false tales behind her back.

It was white like her face had been as she had searched for her name in the merit list.Gazing in the mirror with her white-coat on for the first time,she reminisced how her cheeks had turned a glowing pink in a flurry of emotion when she had realized the all- night studying sessions and sacrificed recreational time had paid back in fireworks of purple celebration and success.

As the years passed, she came to associate it with the colour of sterile hospital walls and OT gowns and crackling lab reports.It was a comforting sight,representing purity and beneficence,healthy teeth and gleaming eyes. All seven colors of light converge and disappear into this single shade just like the walls of her workplace had absorbed so many timeless secrets, and stories of miracles and relief, of despair and heartache, of new beginnings and peaceful endings.

The first time she saw him, she thought of gold, like the sun rays haloing his face,the tinkling charms that hung off her favourite bracelet and jars of sweet honey. Maybe it was a premonition of the artfully scattered embellishments of her wedding dress and the gleam of the single band now resting around the third finger of her right hand. However, she didn't like the cloud of cigarette smoke around him at at that time because it reminded her of grey eyes and abandonment but gold, she found out, was an all encompassing, illuminating colour which drowned everything bleak and negative leaving her refreshed and hopeful.

Her baby came out indigo skinned and silent. The infant gave out a grating screech  when the pediatrician thumped its back for resuscitation. It was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. Her baby's eyes were a sleepy azure when they gazed back at her. Apparently,that colour is shared by all newborns because the  thinness of tissues allows the shade of venous blood to peak through...it was her blood running through  this child in her arms and it called out to her when she pressed the little bundle against her chest and gold encircled them as her husband hovered protectively over his little family. Blue is the colour of royalty and her little princess would grow up as such.

She has all these memories now and she is going to make more. She has realized by now that happiness does not lie in perfection but in contention and making the best of what you have got. She sees the world in a new light now; the silver in her mother's raven hair only represents wisdom and valuable experience and the crinkles around her own eyes are a proof of smiling too much while watching her precious family.Life isn't always rainbows and sunshine but it is still worth living for the little interludes of dazzling colours. 

- Mahnoor Shahid (4th Year)