GUILT
Guilt is complex. It feels as if your soul is angry with you,
as if your own self refuses to accept you. It does not let you to commit
another crime neither intentionally, nor unintentionally.
It makes you feel as if you can't run anywhere out of here with your conscience criticizing you endlessly while you ask these questions to yourself: What do I do now? What must I resort to?
It is like a curse; you're a stranger to your own home.
The one
thing that may lessen this agonizing burden from your shoulders is forgiveness
and that too by the only one who was the victim of your actions. Every fiber of
your body goes through the struggle to attain the forgiveness of that one person.
But will you ever be truly forgiven? Will you be able to make peace with yourself? This question remains unanswered as the guilt tears apart the your soul from deep within and resides there, waiting to be pushed out, still growing its roots inside you.
Until that one person comes like a savior and takes your pain away by the act of forgiveness you sought after.
Despite it all, the dark, pessimistic side of you will always wonder if this forgiveness really matters now. What if it's your own soul that doesn't think you deserve any mercy?
What if your own soul is the one that should be forgiving you?
How do you decide?
But will you ever be truly forgiven? Will you be able to make peace with yourself? This question remains unanswered as the guilt tears apart the your soul from deep within and resides there, waiting to be pushed out, still growing its roots inside you.
Until that one person comes like a savior and takes your pain away by the act of forgiveness you sought after.
Despite it all, the dark, pessimistic side of you will always wonder if this forgiveness really matters now. What if it's your own soul that doesn't think you deserve any mercy?
What if your own soul is the one that should be forgiving you?
How do you decide?
- Aiman Sheikh (Class of 2019)
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