Al-Baqqarah, Verse 222

I am cold and passive. Like a stagnant blue lake sleeping in the arms of green mountains.  And you burn in an awfully beautiful fire. Like those mad sea waves dance to grapple moonlight. 

Every morning, I see you touch your T-shirts and caress your red-dyed hair, with an endless emptiness in your eyes; in front of the mirror. 

Whenever any song of yours goes popular, you don't sleep for many nights. 

I remember when you removed away that purple piece of cloth from your head, you burnt in fever for several days. 

Whenever you stay up partying and return late, I know that you check into my room and stand here for minutes. 

Whenever you test your sound system before performing, you always reckon the times when we used to go with Mom. When your innocent beautiful recitation of the Quranic verses used to numb people.

Then Mom left us. Things changed. 

I chose to rush to Him. And hid under His haven. 

And you, you chose a different path.  

The path of betrayal. 

You shunned the symbol of love that used to cover your brown silky hair. 

Your voice used to invite souls to Him. 

You changed its orientation. But your roots continued pulling you back. 

I might pray five times a day. 

But I've seen you trying combining fragments of verses from the Quran during your sleep. 

You adore me that I follow Him. But indeed, I'm occupied by my longings. 

"Who would ace this semester?"

"She belittled me in front of everyone, now she sees what I do." 

While you just repent for not following Him, see that nothing occupies you. 

I can't recognize Him in the best of deeds. 

While you see Him even in your disobedience. 

In your strange dresses. 

In the musical instruments.

When your almond eyes squeeze up while looking towards that silver sky.  

Everything reminds you of Him. 

You had betrayed. But couldn't forget. Your heart was made for Him. 

You were given recognition. 

So whilst you remained on that path to treachery you remained restless to return. And now when you want to return, you find it a long pathway. 

But trust me. 

Trust me. 

That you are just one step distant from Him. 

Believe me that He has written in His book that He loves you.

(Surely Allah loves those who repent He loves those who keep themselves clean. Al-Baqqarah: 222). 

You reject these things and get Him. 

You clean yourself from these blots of disloyalty and get Him. 

While I, well, I  need to cover a thousand kilometres and countless miles till I get Him.

Samina Siddique

Class of 2021