FJ journals - The Student Blog of FJMU

They never come to see you, you know…and the time, it doesn’t flee The sadness that tried to hide behind the black of my eye…it failed And the white of my eyes has changed its color You, sir! You ask if the redness is an infection…you think this place, the people, the living and the dead, they die of infections? Pity…it’s a pity you see all but nothing. No worries. Let’s make you a little aware of what happened to ‘our’ eyes. Oh yes! It’s not just me…You see, when they say ‘We Are One’, they mean it. None here has had the chance to save a single soul from that missile that hit that tall building – the one right around the corner Ah yes! Now you are thinking straight. I am talking about the exact same building that had more than 20 families living in it. It’s mere ash now and soot of course. Well…that’s just how things run here. People come and go. Buildings stand and fall. Only one thing remains the same – the missiles. Now if you excuse me, I have matters to attend to There were times...

 making space for you under their umbrella/letting you take the first sip from their tea/sharing favourite movies and books with you/making playlist together/your mother keeping your cold feet under her warm feet in winters/someone remembering the thing you once told them you liked and gifting it on your special day/sharing their pet's videos with you/sharing water bottle/teaching you stuff near exams/child recognizing your shoulder as his safe place/ordering your favourite flavoured iceto layers bakeshop without you asking for/pottercream witho ut asking you/getting you heads/Sharing favourite scents/ complimenting strangers/ efforts being acknowledged/ two lovebirds stealing glances/in their prayers/ in their 11.11/single parents struggling for th eir children/never forgetting to bring you flowers and chocolates/cloudy skies/someone pulling efforts to keep you in their life. Add yours to the list!  Swera ahmad  Batch'23

  After a long chit chat around the corners, I move back to my room. It’s evening already, so I gotta hurry. Gazing at the sky, it kind of looks like a very gloomy and bright night for sure, and that makes me stop for a second. A billion or trillion of memories hit my mind and start to flow around me, so I close my eyes and start to mesmerize. Yes! I can feel it all happening within me as if it were just yesterday, some familiar voices echo in the background, some irreplaceable smiles glamour through. They are all talking so eagerly. I am enjoying listening to them. It feels like they aren't too far away, instead they are just in front of me, so I start to move towards them, but then someone shrugs me…asks me why I am popping my eyes while looking at the moon. It was my imagination after all, for sky is the only thing that looks the same as then. The rest of the scenery is disrupted. It’s near but too far away for sure... Those happenings, they did occur but I can't catch the...

The contrast between the lives of two people is sometimes so stark that it baffles me. Keeps me preoccupied for days. And I am the kind of person who almost never thinks about patients after dealing with them. They are mere subjects to me. Body parts. As callous and impersonal as that sounds, that is how I have always been. You could push me to my brink, I still wouldn't mix work with leisure. Some may call it a coping mechanism; some may call it a lack of empathy. Choose your poison. The one time I actually took work home with me, it wasn't even a patient of mine. It must have been a Thursday or Friday, that little detail evades me. I had just gotten out of a very boring lecture and was making my way to the Gynaecology ward. A million thoughts swirled in my head. From the preceeding lecture and the stress of the upcoming ward test to a friend's odd behaviour to the realisation that we were never friends to begin with. I trudged up the stairs of the Surgical building and ...

Pushed away, Thrust out. Your metaphorical circle Has no place for me to stay I've seen that veneer Of sincerity crack and fall, I've seen your disdainful sneer Revealing my darkest fear, And yet, I push it away. Far away, Where mental confines end And I wonder, How far, is too far How many more times Will you slit my throat? Leave me to die, Send me awry? And as I lie here In the cage of delusion, Making a fool Of my intuition I can't help, but wonder Oh my dear heart, How far, would be too far? -------------- Maheen Mansoor  FJMU'22 

Its been so long since ,i got the urge to tell it ,to feel it ,to express it all  is hidden within my thoughts ,but as i suck in it so it had taken me forever to be able to put it forward but today i will put it in words all those things i always felt that did grow stronger with the upcoming days ... The truth of my life still am trying to sort it out ,with everyday having something new to face , something new to learn with every up coming day understanding those bonds like threads  that connect us through with other humans ,some of these bonds breaks easily followed by pain and betrayals while others are opposite and than there are those rarest bonds which can't be replaced no matter what .... Mom ,from the very start i never understand why you got angry at my mistakes and got worried even after scolding me through and through for them ,why did you tried to help me to correct them and got relieved on my success as always  whenever i learn something new you were the most ...

Dear Mom , I know I can never pay you back for what you did for me. I know in these scorching summers , standing in the kitchen with sweat dripping in profusion across the sides of your beautiful face , it isn’t easy at all. Mom, you could have denied waking up for me while I was crying bitterly in my cot as a baby. You could have shunned me away every time I came to you with a arm by falling from the swing because you were already tired. You could have eaten that last bit of favorite chocolate and not sacrificed it for me. But you didn’t , mom. You woke up for me every single time I cried out of fear , hunger or a need for your warmth. You hugged me every time I came to you, hurt. You let me take that last bit of your favorite chocolate. Why mom? Just out of love? This love of yours for me , is one of the purest forms of love. It is something so pure and great that it can’t be put into words. It is so peaceful that even your mere existence around me fills me with tranquility. I know I...

 Dear Mom, How I wish that we had better communication If only I could explain my feelings and let out this frustration .. How I wish you wouldn't always misunderstand this generation If only I could show how much I adore you with no hesitation .. You're my muse, mentor and inspiration If only you could look past all these misinterpretions .. We might've drifted apart because of this long lasting separation Dear mom, I wish I could tell u that I love you beyond imagination .. Saliha Anwar Ul Haq Batch of 2025

  With the huge pressure on my little soul, I was always wondering what I should do; it was Allah who saved me every single time. The teacher was absent the next day or she didn't listen the lesson from me. I have always remained calm in the most pressurized states and left it all to my fate and Allah and he ended up saving me each time. When I didn't draw the histology diagrams, he saved me from the anger of Dr. Qaisera. When I didn't learn the lesson of physiology, he didn't let me get marked absent. On many occasions of life, Allah has saved me from bad things. I have always noticed it and thanked Him. Memoma Fatima

"You know what, no one can be more scared of a break up than me." She looked at him with love in her eyes. "And you know, nothing is more exciting than to see you crying for me." He was teasing her as usual. "Why don't you ever express your love." She asked helplessly. "Didn't you tell me that you want to have some sushi today?" He asked. "No", she said. "Then why are you eating it." He murmured but she could hear it. "I know you can always grasp my feelings, I don't know how you do that." She was speechless again. "Your brain is just empty, I feel bad for you," saying this he ran because he knew she would tear him apart. She was still confused. Does unconditional love need to be expressed by words? This was the only thought disturbing her from so many days. Her phone rang, she saw his number. Her beautiful smile appeared. She knew he was going to apologize, she picked it up....

 Slipping through my fingers  Like the grains of sand  that betrayed the sea  A mirage in the desert That keeps running away I clutch at your arm Begging you to stay But it turns to dust It turns to smoke And you drift farther away I wish I knew better I wish I couldn’t shatter But a sliver of hope remains Maybe you still love me And we could still be the same As I lay under the stars You used to read about Clutching to the memories I think it’s time to realise You were a friend I never meant to keep ________ Maheen Mansoor FJMU'22

Growing up in a small place with mindsets even narrower than the streets, I thought maybe with age everyone will understand. Maybe my friends will grow and learn. But I was so wrong. Met them after a long time just to realise they still haven't gotten past the stage of body shaming each other, they do it under the guise of jokes, this makes me want to puke. What's the point of all this education, of all their riches, or of them having families classified as elite, when they still talk like the uneducated and uncultured women from late sixties. Moving to another city, starting new chapters of life, getting to know new people from all over the country. Learning, living and enjoying every single second of my life. Lahore has taught me to love my life and myself. Staying here I have really grown up. When I go back to the place where I'm from I'm heart broken to see that nothing has changed. My school friends who I adore have aged but sadly not grown up. "When a flowe...

Can't forget that bright sensation- as if sunlight with the smell of those flowers, as if springs beauty had covered it all; my soul, my mind in a complete harmony. Never tried to understand the reason behind it all, as I thought that it belongs to me, but now that I think and ponder, maybe the reason behind it all was your smiles, and those gestures of remembering all the little insignificant details that brought out giggles and laughs. Yes, you were the reason for those smooth bright days within me... Now that your sounds are getting fainter as if you are leaving, I feel an itch in my heart because I know the scenery is changing, and now that you all have left, it feels like the brightness is replaced with clouds and they are getting darker and gloomier. I am scared of it. Why is it changing when I don't want it to? Why can't I stop it? Didn’t it all belong to me? But then I understood, it might be because of being alone. Yes, that might be it. I have to find someone, som...