It was Allah who saved me every single time

"You know what, no one can be more scared of a break up than me." She looked at him with love in her eyes.

"And you know, nothing is more exciting than to see you crying for me." He was teasing her as usual.

"Why don't you ever express your love." She asked helplessly.

"Didn't you tell me that you want to have some sushi today?" He asked.

"No", she said.

"Then why are you eating it." He murmured but she could hear it.

"I know you can always grasp my feelings, I don't know how you do that." She was speechless again.

"Your brain is just empty, I feel bad for you," saying this he ran because he knew she would tear him apart.

She was still confused. Does unconditional love need to be expressed by words? This was the only thought disturbing her from so many days.

Her phone rang, she saw his number. Her beautiful smile appeared. She knew he was going to apologize, she picked it up.

"A car has hit him, he is no more," Someone said.

And she couldn't even shout. 

For a couple of years she just stayed quiet. She was merely living with the echoes of his voice reverberating in her ears all the time.

That day, she was sitting in her balcony with his picture in her hands and her heart asked her; "How temporary the world is! You will die one day. What if he forgets you among Hoors of Jaanah?" 

She just laughed at her own thought. Is there anyone who will remember me, hold me, guide me, bless me... 

Again the influx of thoughts begin. She looked at the moon. Again her inner self asked; "Who is holding this moon, why does not it just fall? Can someone hold me this much tightly?" 

These thoughts again... 

But something clicked in her mind. Who held me when I was floating in amniotic fluid? Who held me when I got separated from the umbilicus, without which I couldn't survive those nine months? Who put my love in the hearts of my parents? Who taught me how to eat, drink and walk? Who saved me when I fell from bicycle at the age of 3 and doctors said she can't walk anymore? And a miracle happened and I recovered. Who held me when I was bullied at school or when I was scolded by teachers? Who helped me when I got lost during a family trip? When I was about to suicide due to low grades? And why didn't I die of heartbreak after my soulmate left the world suddenly? Who is the one channeling my thoughts, my emotions. How merciful he is, how beneficent; The Savior....

And whoever He is, why does he never ask for a reward. Why His love is so unconditional. Why behind every hardship, He has planned something even bigger than anyone can imagine. Her soul then said; "It was Allah who saved me every single time." 

Regards : Rohma Ajmal