THE CALLS ARE BARED
*This article is an honorary entry for the Kashmir Solidarity Day Competition*
"Did you take everything? Where is your ticket? And... passport?"
"Yes, Ammi. It's in the bag already."
"Ummm...Oh, what about your Aadhar card? They won't allow you inside without it"
"Ammi",I said holding her. " Stop worrying so much. I have already kept it inside my pocket."
"I wanted to go with you, my son. But it wasn't in my fate this time. He (S.W.T) has his own plans"
"Neär khoudayas hawaalë . Suii karrê reãchh" (Allah hafiz. He will protect you), said Ammi.
At 12 o' clock in the afternoon, my flight to Jeddah Sharif departed. Seated next to some unknown passenger, Ammi's voice kept reverberating into my ears for many hours. I had always dreamed about performing Hajj with my Ammi. It was nothing short of a tragedy that her passport got misplaced at the eleventh hour. But she ensured that I should leave for the holy journey in the best way possible. Just a day before departure, I remember her saying,"My son, you are the noor of my eyes. It's by virtue of Allah (S.W.T) and then you that I will be able to see that holy place. We are performing it together."
I reached to Jeddah Sharif by 11 o' clock in the night, of same day. By next day I arranged the sim and I made the first call to Ammi, whom I know would have been waiting for my call. I dialled her number and it started ringing. On the second ring, the call was answered. Of course it was Ammi.
"Nafees, my son. Is it you? Did you reach safely?"
"Alhamdulillah, Ammi. I reached safely yesterday. I am fine. Tell me how are you?"
"It's only after hearing your voice I feel that I am fine. It's been 28 hours since I had heard your voice. You know it that I feel restless without your presence." I could sense her tears.
"Ammi, don't worry. I am fine. This is my new number. Save it in your phone."
"And please take care of yourself." I said in a convincing tone.
It was quite strange. I had never seen her this much tensed in my life. It was moments later only when my Uncle told me that there is some uncertainty in the Valley and lots of rumours are making rounds.
Later in the night, around 11.30, Ammi called me and inquired me whether I had taken dinner properly or not.
In the afternoon of 4th August, I made a call back home. It was after ten attempts that the call got connected, which I thought was some network issue, a usual problem in Pulwama town. My mother asked me about my well being and she kept on saying "please take care of yourself Nafees, my son. You are all that I ever have."
Later in the day after offering Isha, I checked my phone that I had kept in the hotel room. I had seven missed calls from Ammi. I called back but the voice on the phone said "The number you are trying to call is currently switched off. Please try after sometime."
I kept on trying for an half an hour. After dinner I tried to call on other numbers in my family. They all were also switched off.
"Nafees they are sealing my mouth. They have already tied my arms and legs with these chains..... Nafeeeeessss.. my noor... Remove these chains. These are hurting" said Ammi, while struggling and crying.
"Ammi." I shouted, shivering. It was a nightmare,worst than that.
"Ya Allah! Please protect my mother" said I, while holding onto my tears.
It was around 2:15 am that time. I was feeling very heavy at heart. Nothing was comforting me. I was missing Ammi so much.
I woke up and offered Tahajjud. I couldn't utter a single word except for "Ammi" in the dua. I wept my heart out.
In the morning, I called Ammi again but it all went in vain. "Why are all the numbers switched off at the same time?" said I, anxiously.
At the breakfast table, coincidentally I met some fellow Kashmiris and we exchanged greetings. One of them asked me in kashmiri, "did you call back home?"
"Umm. No, actually all the numbers are switched off... I can't understand what is happening."
The other guy sighed. "They have suspended all the communication channels in the Valley, be it phone calls, SMS, internet, cable tv and print media for indefinite period. They have blocked the roads. The Valley is curfewed." said he.
"They.... who?" enquired I.
"The Modi Government", replied he. "They are scrapping off the Article 370 today in the Parliament."
Okay. So the world's largest democracy had suspended all the means of communication in the world's most militarized zone. I felt numb. I felt uneasy. I tried to call home several times in the day but all of them were failed attempts. I kept on feeling restless... In every prayer that I offered, I made a special mention for my Ammi and my homeland.
Days went by and each day I tried to call Ammi. It was 11th of August; Eid ul Adha in the premises of Saudi Arabia. I was missing Ammi especially on this day. I remember all the previous Eids where she used to greet me first in the morning and feed me with her hands. I was craving to listen to her voice just once...
Within next few days, I completed my Hajj. I was overwhelmed but I was missing Ammi badly. I had my flight back home on 18th of August. I was getting excited to see my Ammi and moreover I couldn't wait to gift her all the hijabs, tasbeeh and Prayer mat that I had bought specially for her.
I landed at Srinagar Airport at around 12.30 pm. I couldn't wait to rush outside just to see a glimpse of her. "But would she be present here?" I asked myself, since the Valley is under curfew since last 15 days. It isn't easy and safe to travel from Pulwama under these circumstances. Nevertheless, I was excited to be back home.
I came out of the airport and instantly started looking out for my family...my Ammi. Meanwhile, I heard a voice shouting "Nafees!" I looked around and I spotted my Maama Ji and Chacha. I rushed towards them and they hugged me tightly, like never before. We went into the car and I asked them about everyone..., about Ammi. "It's a tough situation but we all are strong enough to deal with this. Allah (S.W.T) cannot burden a soul beyond which it cannot bear" said Maama Ji.
We were stopped at around 10 checkpoints on the way to home. It took us 3 hours to reach main town of Pulwama; normally it's an hour away ride from Srinagar. I could clearly listen to my heartbeats when we were reaching near to home. I was thinking about Ammi. How would she welcome the noor of her eyes - with whom she hasn't had any conversation with since past 15 days? The car stopped at the main gate of our house and I could spot some elderly men there.
I entered inside along with both my uncles who were carrying my luggages. I gazed at verandah where so many women were standing. I felt nervous. They all hugged me and welcomed me inside. They made me sit on the large sofa in the living room. I kept on the looking at the door, waiting for my Ammi to come. My maternal aunt was sitting next to me. I asked her, "Khala, where is Ammi?" "Let everyone come", said she, while caressing my forehead. Meanwhile both my uncles entered the room and they sat beside me.
"Ma Sha Allah, you are a Haji now. Look at the noor on your face. Your mother was the most happiest person when you left for that Holy place." said Maama Ji.
"Yes, I am aware of it" said I, smiling. "But where is she? Okay. She is in the kitchen and preparing my favourite Yakhni for me"
"Khala, please call her" said I, politely.
"Nafees!", interrupted Maama Ji. "We can't call her at the moment. Allah ta'ala called her to Himself. Your Ammi is no more with us."
"She left this world on the day of Eid" , said Khala while bursting into tears. The whole room bursted into tears.
I couldn't utter a word. My whole world had been shattered. I could feel numbness from head to toe. A series of flashbacks came in front of my eyes. Ammi calling me the noor of her eyes, Ammi bidding adieu to me, Ammi talking to me on the phone, those seven missed calls from Ammi, that nightmare where I saw Ammi chained.... Ammi.
"Ammi" , I cried out. "How did it happen?"
"On 4th August we heard that the government is planning something massive here so they are shutting down all the communication channels. Bhabhi called you several times that day in the evening but you didn't receive the calls. The next moment all the phone services were shut down and the whole town was curfewed. She couldn't sleep on any day. She was worried for you. She wanted to speak to you. All her days went by crying and worrying for you. On the morning of 12th August, she passed away, as she couldn't bear the separation with her son. She lost her hopes that if the mighty government can't restore the communication on Eid then they can't restore it ever. " said Chacha.
I felt helpless. I felt regretful. Why didn't I receive one of those seven missed calls? Why didn't I? Moreover, what did I do to deserve this hardship? How was I or my Ammi going to hinder the government's cruel plans? Why did I have to pay the price for their doings? Why did I lose my Ammi to this communication blockade? WHY? Did my Ammi deserve a farewell without her son? DID SHE?
*The events are true to their type. The character names are fictional*
Aieman Altaf
"Did you take everything? Where is your ticket? And... passport?"
"Yes, Ammi. It's in the bag already."
"Ummm...Oh, what about your Aadhar card? They won't allow you inside without it"
"Ammi",I said holding her. " Stop worrying so much. I have already kept it inside my pocket."
"I wanted to go with you, my son. But it wasn't in my fate this time. He (S.W.T) has his own plans"
"Neär khoudayas hawaalë . Suii karrê reãchh" (Allah hafiz. He will protect you), said Ammi.
At 12 o' clock in the afternoon, my flight to Jeddah Sharif departed. Seated next to some unknown passenger, Ammi's voice kept reverberating into my ears for many hours. I had always dreamed about performing Hajj with my Ammi. It was nothing short of a tragedy that her passport got misplaced at the eleventh hour. But she ensured that I should leave for the holy journey in the best way possible. Just a day before departure, I remember her saying,"My son, you are the noor of my eyes. It's by virtue of Allah (S.W.T) and then you that I will be able to see that holy place. We are performing it together."
I reached to Jeddah Sharif by 11 o' clock in the night, of same day. By next day I arranged the sim and I made the first call to Ammi, whom I know would have been waiting for my call. I dialled her number and it started ringing. On the second ring, the call was answered. Of course it was Ammi.
"Nafees, my son. Is it you? Did you reach safely?"
"Alhamdulillah, Ammi. I reached safely yesterday. I am fine. Tell me how are you?"
"It's only after hearing your voice I feel that I am fine. It's been 28 hours since I had heard your voice. You know it that I feel restless without your presence." I could sense her tears.
"Ammi, don't worry. I am fine. This is my new number. Save it in your phone."
"And please take care of yourself." I said in a convincing tone.
It was quite strange. I had never seen her this much tensed in my life. It was moments later only when my Uncle told me that there is some uncertainty in the Valley and lots of rumours are making rounds.
Later in the night, around 11.30, Ammi called me and inquired me whether I had taken dinner properly or not.
In the afternoon of 4th August, I made a call back home. It was after ten attempts that the call got connected, which I thought was some network issue, a usual problem in Pulwama town. My mother asked me about my well being and she kept on saying "please take care of yourself Nafees, my son. You are all that I ever have."
Later in the day after offering Isha, I checked my phone that I had kept in the hotel room. I had seven missed calls from Ammi. I called back but the voice on the phone said "The number you are trying to call is currently switched off. Please try after sometime."
I kept on trying for an half an hour. After dinner I tried to call on other numbers in my family. They all were also switched off.
"Nafees they are sealing my mouth. They have already tied my arms and legs with these chains..... Nafeeeeessss.. my noor... Remove these chains. These are hurting" said Ammi, while struggling and crying.
"Ammi." I shouted, shivering. It was a nightmare,worst than that.
"Ya Allah! Please protect my mother" said I, while holding onto my tears.
It was around 2:15 am that time. I was feeling very heavy at heart. Nothing was comforting me. I was missing Ammi so much.
I woke up and offered Tahajjud. I couldn't utter a single word except for "Ammi" in the dua. I wept my heart out.
In the morning, I called Ammi again but it all went in vain. "Why are all the numbers switched off at the same time?" said I, anxiously.
At the breakfast table, coincidentally I met some fellow Kashmiris and we exchanged greetings. One of them asked me in kashmiri, "did you call back home?"
"Umm. No, actually all the numbers are switched off... I can't understand what is happening."
The other guy sighed. "They have suspended all the communication channels in the Valley, be it phone calls, SMS, internet, cable tv and print media for indefinite period. They have blocked the roads. The Valley is curfewed." said he.
"They.... who?" enquired I.
"The Modi Government", replied he. "They are scrapping off the Article 370 today in the Parliament."
Okay. So the world's largest democracy had suspended all the means of communication in the world's most militarized zone. I felt numb. I felt uneasy. I tried to call home several times in the day but all of them were failed attempts. I kept on feeling restless... In every prayer that I offered, I made a special mention for my Ammi and my homeland.
Days went by and each day I tried to call Ammi. It was 11th of August; Eid ul Adha in the premises of Saudi Arabia. I was missing Ammi especially on this day. I remember all the previous Eids where she used to greet me first in the morning and feed me with her hands. I was craving to listen to her voice just once...
Within next few days, I completed my Hajj. I was overwhelmed but I was missing Ammi badly. I had my flight back home on 18th of August. I was getting excited to see my Ammi and moreover I couldn't wait to gift her all the hijabs, tasbeeh and Prayer mat that I had bought specially for her.
I landed at Srinagar Airport at around 12.30 pm. I couldn't wait to rush outside just to see a glimpse of her. "But would she be present here?" I asked myself, since the Valley is under curfew since last 15 days. It isn't easy and safe to travel from Pulwama under these circumstances. Nevertheless, I was excited to be back home.
I came out of the airport and instantly started looking out for my family...my Ammi. Meanwhile, I heard a voice shouting "Nafees!" I looked around and I spotted my Maama Ji and Chacha. I rushed towards them and they hugged me tightly, like never before. We went into the car and I asked them about everyone..., about Ammi. "It's a tough situation but we all are strong enough to deal with this. Allah (S.W.T) cannot burden a soul beyond which it cannot bear" said Maama Ji.
We were stopped at around 10 checkpoints on the way to home. It took us 3 hours to reach main town of Pulwama; normally it's an hour away ride from Srinagar. I could clearly listen to my heartbeats when we were reaching near to home. I was thinking about Ammi. How would she welcome the noor of her eyes - with whom she hasn't had any conversation with since past 15 days? The car stopped at the main gate of our house and I could spot some elderly men there.
I entered inside along with both my uncles who were carrying my luggages. I gazed at verandah where so many women were standing. I felt nervous. They all hugged me and welcomed me inside. They made me sit on the large sofa in the living room. I kept on the looking at the door, waiting for my Ammi to come. My maternal aunt was sitting next to me. I asked her, "Khala, where is Ammi?" "Let everyone come", said she, while caressing my forehead. Meanwhile both my uncles entered the room and they sat beside me.
"Ma Sha Allah, you are a Haji now. Look at the noor on your face. Your mother was the most happiest person when you left for that Holy place." said Maama Ji.
"Yes, I am aware of it" said I, smiling. "But where is she? Okay. She is in the kitchen and preparing my favourite Yakhni for me"
"Khala, please call her" said I, politely.
"Nafees!", interrupted Maama Ji. "We can't call her at the moment. Allah ta'ala called her to Himself. Your Ammi is no more with us."
"She left this world on the day of Eid" , said Khala while bursting into tears. The whole room bursted into tears.
I couldn't utter a word. My whole world had been shattered. I could feel numbness from head to toe. A series of flashbacks came in front of my eyes. Ammi calling me the noor of her eyes, Ammi bidding adieu to me, Ammi talking to me on the phone, those seven missed calls from Ammi, that nightmare where I saw Ammi chained.... Ammi.
"Ammi" , I cried out. "How did it happen?"
"On 4th August we heard that the government is planning something massive here so they are shutting down all the communication channels. Bhabhi called you several times that day in the evening but you didn't receive the calls. The next moment all the phone services were shut down and the whole town was curfewed. She couldn't sleep on any day. She was worried for you. She wanted to speak to you. All her days went by crying and worrying for you. On the morning of 12th August, she passed away, as she couldn't bear the separation with her son. She lost her hopes that if the mighty government can't restore the communication on Eid then they can't restore it ever. " said Chacha.
I felt helpless. I felt regretful. Why didn't I receive one of those seven missed calls? Why didn't I? Moreover, what did I do to deserve this hardship? How was I or my Ammi going to hinder the government's cruel plans? Why did I have to pay the price for their doings? Why did I lose my Ammi to this communication blockade? WHY? Did my Ammi deserve a farewell without her son? DID SHE?
*The events are true to their type. The character names are fictional*
Aieman Altaf
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