FJ journals - The Student Blog of FJMU

"She wrote because she thought that screaming wasn't an option" I have always thought about what meaning happiness held. What meanings memories held. Now I know they refer to peace . T hey refer to a particular emotional state where vague and horrible things disappear all of a sudden or they stop bothering you anymore. So here's what you can do to get it: "Choose birds not SNAKES" I have realized that we put ourselves in pain. Human nature is adventurous; it chooses risk, tough relations and heartless people. We insist on making this life tough. W e keep suffering in total silence and darkness. We seek help from those that can't even see us happy and that is where we make mistakes. We make wrong choices, we choose wrong characters for our story and then we expect them to gather flowers for us. I have heard that people hurt. I say expectations do. We expect certain people in our lives to gather streams of constellations an...

She liked the fire. She craved the fire, So she let herself be in the ignitable space. She lit a spark with largesse of love. She was being nurtured so she returned the favor. The flash received plaudits which fueled it further. She contemplated the metamorphosis. The flicker was an inferno now. The phenomenon exhilarated her. She went on a voyage, traveled the distance from one state to another in a meteoric manner, reaching the state of manumission. The owner being herself, the slave being herself. She had no shelter, neither she wanted one. Now everything was limitless. She was limitless, Just like that inferno. She become the fire, she once craved for. - Aiman Sheikh (Class of 2019)

The curtains went down,  the actors were praised.  In the changing room,  the transformation took place.  The shimmer removed,  the darkness glowed.  The scars were revealed,  narrating incidents with lips sealed.  The crowd went home,  so they felt so safe.  They could come out naked.  They could leave their cave.  On the dark streets,  their feet were dancing, creating the magic,  with tranquility enhancing.  The twinkling smile of their soul,  made them so brightened,  as if stars had come down,  their territory widened.  That act was natural,  because it had no spectators.  That purity was factual  hiding from evil eyes of haters.  Little did the crowd care,  they were fooled,...

*This is an entry for the July Blog of the Month Competition One busy day while driving around, I decided to meet someone very special as I was very exhausted.  As I stepped out of the car and my feet touched the green grass, I felt a slight breeze calming my body. And suddenly my tiredness vanished. Getting closer to him made me feel better.  And then I had a flashback of all the time I had spent with him. Two years ago, when my parents and my brother went to hajj, I was sent to his house to stay there -- my khala's house.  I've stayed there many times but this time it was different.  I had to stay there for two months and guess what? My finals were in 3 weeks . At first I was a bit shy but then he (my khalo) made this place a comfortable home for me. He used to get up early in the morning to drop me to university and looked after every little detail. He even sometimes used to wake me up in the morning so I wouldn't get late. We had breakfast together a...

*This is an entry for the July Blog of the Month Competition As the golden rays of sunshine penetrated my window, rolling on my bed I heard the kids down the street rushing and screaming with joy, I smiled inwardly.  Moving back a year, the same situation would have irked me and provoked me to send the flower pot flying down the window. A change of perspective like this is worth penning down. So it all begins after A levels or FSc, the hustle and bustle of preparing for the entry test. How many of us would want to go back to that stage. The utterly baffled and perplexed freshmen to be. Scattered thoughts, wild insecurities, crazy expectations from the parents and the phase where a stethoscope would look as precious as the most sought after Koh-e-Noor . It’s okay! I can literally see you all nodding your head solemnly. Now hails to us all who passed this stage and here we are, the doctors to be. Initially completely excited, breathing the air of freedom, away from house; ...

*This is an entry for the July Blog of the Month Competition Growing up, home was constant. It had one name, and it never changed. As I went through the cumbersome task of growing up and learning that friendships didn't last forever, home became a little less constant. I learned to associate certain things with home, like the beaches and the corniche, barbeques with the salty air a blissful certainty. Tall buildings and that specific brown school uniform, and regular visits to the cultural center in the neighborhood. When circumstances lead to Baba's transfer to another city, home became a yearning, a reluctant shifting of address, a process of dethroning and rebellion, but with the passage of time, home became more than it ever was before. It became the red sand dunes, constantly shifting, yet somehow always the same. It moved to the freshness of green mubazzarah and the slightly chilly air at the top of jebel hafeet . The tall buildings morphed into small ones, the big...

*This is an entry for the July Blog of the Month Competition Home has always been a hard word to define by someone who keeps travelling. As an army brat, I have been a victim of the very same complication. It has always been a sensitive subject for me. Whenever I came across this word, or a concept of having a home, I always felt a feeling of sadness creeping up my heart. To me, home was a place that remains constant in your life, no matter where you are travelling or what are you doing. The concept of coming back home was a fantasy to me.    I would say that during the lifetime of various army transfers, I tried to make every place a home; but the fear of loosing it one day and moving on, with probably no chance of returning, has always kept that struggle at bay. There has always been a concept of hometown, where your grandparents live, but it's hard to call some place home if you visit it once a year on Eid for not more than 3 days and knowing practically no one there...

I take a deep breath, trying to get some oxygen in; but it's of no use. I feel as if I'm drowning, as if every breath is filling my lungs with water instead of air. I get up from my seat and pace about, thinking I could shake off the horrid feeling, but apparently it was here to stay. After a few minutes of pacing I sit back down frustrated and even more exhausted. My heart beats in my chest, each beat echoing throughout my body, the only rhythm that seems constant. Yet it seems to be heavy and burdensome. As if every pulse is a struggle, every beat causes pain that radiates to the pit of my stomach... Breath in. Breathe out.   Breathe in. Breathe out.   You've got this... I look around. Happy, smiling faces greet me. Happy faces that make life seem so easy. Some laughing, some giggling, but I can't even manage a mere smile.   Everything seems too difficult, too draining. I spot a familiar face, and wave at them desperately, trying to get ...

* This is an entry for the June Blog of the Month Competition Dear humbler! I always wanted to know how you are up there. Your limbs? Your spirit? Often I feel that I am not fulfilling your rights. Just pray for me. You are the one that takes me away  from this noisy, polluted and deceiving world to a world of purity, loyalty, freshness and calmness. I love that sense which you offer me. You are the one who tracks me on the right path when I am just going to fall in the distractions of this world. You have saved me many times that i even cannot count them. For me the biggest gift you have ever given is a shoulder to cry on, to tell everyone grief, sadness, agony, every heartache, every wish and every depression. And what you give in return, Oh! I cannot even explain in words. You not only give me support, you give me hope, a new light of calmness, a new way to cope up with the situation and most of all the feeling that you will never leave me alone. I can have you where ever...

* This is an entry for the June Blog of the Month Competition PRAYER: noun/BrE/preə(r);word origin: middle english;from old french preire, based on Latin precarius 'obtained by entreaty', from prex, prec-'prayer'. Synonym: plea ; Meaning: an earnest wish. It had been ages since the soil had tasted dew. Time had made the green age into browns. Lips were parched, throats dry, still there was no sign of rain. From where I was sitting, I could see a blazing sun, who himself looked ashamed as he had nothing to hide his nudity, no clouds, still… by the small window of a house nearby, sat a little girl  her face bathed in the sun's gold. While i gazed at her tiny form, the passing wind mocked me. With every blink of her lashes,I trembled, fearing her gaze. She had read me, her blue orbs which held the purity of the oceans, so paradoxical to the scenario around her, reciprocated my gaze with an expression I could not comprehend. Pushing away the thought I mo...

* This is an entry for the June Blog of the Month Competition In times of distress, many of us make attempts to find solutions in the very dunya that actually caused that calamity to  us. We look for temporary comforts in worldly objects which have the potential to break us again. On the other hand , some of us find relief in medication and counselling. These too are not useful after some time. Some of us surround ourselves with sympathetic ears and simply lose hope. At the end we derail from the righteous path.  Allah rabbul izzat has provided us with the best relief of all-Prayer : "And seek help through patience and prayer and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive (to Allah)" Quran. Chapter 2,verse 45 So, He is the Almighty, the Creator and the Sustainer of this universe. So who better to seek ease from pain and hardship than Him? Who better to call upon than Him? Prayers heal magically. Allah SWT says "Unquestionably, by...