4a.m. Thoughts (BOTM)

Another night of Autumn, I am on my bed in the world of dreams. I am sailing swiftly in a harmony. All of a sudden, I hear some familiar voices, I wake up and look outside my window, it is pitch black but still I can see a silhouette of someone I know very well, without thinking I change my clothes take my soccer ball and go out.... There is no one on the street at all but still I am moving there to the promised spot, the moment I reach there, there isn't even a single soul .

"Where are you, you are all hiding aren't you? (screaming) cares that its been long since then, you still are there ??”

I close my eyes and I can feel it, I can hear it as well but the moment I open my eyes everything is so dark.

 "Why do I have to imagine it always?I want to feel it all, those smiles I promise I will care I won't be the same"(sobs for a long time)

So it is my imagination ,its late now 4 a.m., I think the thought of happiness for me is like the dark sky of this time (looking) even moon isn't visible but now I am here lets play some soccer...yay it’s so fun.

I have many precious friends who taught me soccer but they aren't there anymore but still I love soccer it reminds me of everything, ahhh I have to play it alone though. Well actually I did make some new friends but they always turn out to be temporary. They just leave so fast that I can't get a chance to ask them for soccer... (after playing for a long time) I feel tired now I should get some juice from vending machine. Hanami would have taken my juice from me. (smiling)

 (Looking at the skies while drinking the juice), ahhh its morning already the sun is rising , wow it so miraculous ,what a scenery.

I know what you are thinking such a weird girl standing alone and then playing soccer as she misses her past, you are not wrong its true I live by making an amalgam of my past and present. I am not sure but I want to make my friends proud that next time if I ever see them again, (smirk) I have grown so good in soccer that’s all. I know I can't recreate it all believe me i tried it but I can’t. Still I can't let go of these memories so i will live remembering it all smiling and sobbing. But still wishing that wherever you are my precious friends may you get the happiness of all worlds, your smile is enough for me. Ahhh it is getting late I have to go home before mom wakes up.

  And they say memories and past don't matter it’s just a nuisance but for me its my reason to smile and move to the sun rising future. Is it the same for you? Is it?

But even if you go out so late in autumn wear your jacket. I forgot to wear one, it’s damn cold.

Anam Zahrah

Batch of 2022.

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