FJ journals - The Student Blog of FJMU

 making space for you under their umbrella/letting you take the first sip from their tea/sharing favourite movies and books with you/making playlist together/your mother keeping your cold feet under her warm feet in winters/someone remembering the thing you once told them you liked and gifting it on your special day/sharing their pet's videos with you/sharing water bottle/teaching you stuff near exams/child recognizing your shoulder as his safe place/ordering your favourite flavoured iceto layers bakeshop without you asking for/pottercream witho ut asking you/getting you heads/Sharing favourite scents/ complimenting strangers/ efforts being acknowledged/ two lovebirds stealing glances/in their prayers/ in their 11.11/single parents struggling for th eir children/never forgetting to bring you flowers and chocolates/cloudy skies/someone pulling efforts to keep you in their life. Add yours to the list!  Swera ahmad  Batch'23

  After a long chit chat around the corners, I move back to my room. It’s evening already, so I gotta hurry. Gazing at the sky, it kind of looks like a very gloomy and bright night for sure, and that makes me stop for a second. A billion or trillion of memories hit my mind and start to flow around me, so I close my eyes and start to mesmerize. Yes! I can feel it all happening within me as if it were just yesterday, some familiar voices echo in the background, some irreplaceable smiles glamour through. They are all talking so eagerly. I am enjoying listening to them. It feels like they aren't too far away, instead they are just in front of me, so I start to move towards them, but then someone shrugs me…asks me why I am popping my eyes while looking at the moon. It was my imagination after all, for sky is the only thing that looks the same as then. The rest of the scenery is disrupted. It’s near but too far away for sure... Those happenings, they did occur but I can't catch the...

The contrast between the lives of two people is sometimes so stark that it baffles me. Keeps me preoccupied for days. And I am the kind of person who almost never thinks about patients after dealing with them. They are mere subjects to me. Body parts. As callous and impersonal as that sounds, that is how I have always been. You could push me to my brink, I still wouldn't mix work with leisure. Some may call it a coping mechanism; some may call it a lack of empathy. Choose your poison. The one time I actually took work home with me, it wasn't even a patient of mine. It must have been a Thursday or Friday, that little detail evades me. I had just gotten out of a very boring lecture and was making my way to the Gynaecology ward. A million thoughts swirled in my head. From the preceeding lecture and the stress of the upcoming ward test to a friend's odd behaviour to the realisation that we were never friends to begin with. I trudged up the stairs of the Surgical building and ...

Pushed away, Thrust out. Your metaphorical circle Has no place for me to stay I've seen that veneer Of sincerity crack and fall, I've seen your disdainful sneer Revealing my darkest fear, And yet, I push it away. Far away, Where mental confines end And I wonder, How far, is too far How many more times Will you slit my throat? Leave me to die, Send me awry? And as I lie here In the cage of delusion, Making a fool Of my intuition I can't help, but wonder Oh my dear heart, How far, would be too far? -------------- Maheen Mansoor  FJMU'22